I AM NOT SORRY.

*takes deep breath*

*exhales*

2020. The year I realized that silence is violence…and pissed off a whole lot of people in doing so.

I grew up in the Midwest, raised by committed and enthusiastic voters who instilled in my sister and I the importance of participating in every election, from the school board to highest office in this country. My dad spent his entire 42 year legal career tirelessly working as a faithful civil servant with a reputation for honesty, integrity and fairness above all. We’ve seen the change that can come exercising your right to vote…and we’ve seen what can happen when people become too comfortable. If 2016 taught me anything, It’s that comfort leads to complacency and being complacent is being complicit.

I REFUSE TO BE COMPLICIT IN HATRED, CHAOS, RACISM, SEXISM, MYSOGINY, CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR AND GROSS NEGLIGENCE FROM ELECTED OFFICIALS WHO SWORE TO UPHOLD THE BEST INTERESTS OF THOSE THEY REPRESENT AND IF THAT OFFENDS YOU, I DON’T CARE.

I have always been active in my community. From working with urban literacy projects in Kansas City and Chicago, to spending the past five years joining the fight to end housing and food insecurity in Philadelphia, America’s poorest big city. I have worked toward social justice in this country, and I’ve done it as many, (but not nearly enough) of us have - quietly doing the work, having been raised to respect the system. Recognize the possibilities, then work and vote to elect people who share your vision. But the system is broken and it always has been. 2020 has shown me that quiet allyship and participation is not enough. I decided to be bold (for me, Queen of Nonconfrontationaland). I decided to do more. I decided to say more.

I was sure that speaking my mind would result in some sort of pushback and I remained open to conversations with friends and family whose views differed from mine. I’m always happy to engage in productive conversation with those of differing opinions. We can disagree on many things: gun control laws (I think we need them), military spending (I think we should spend less), the list goes on. However, some things - like human, civil and constitutional rights - are not a matter of opinion, but one of right and wrong.

I saw what post-election exit polls showed play out on my social platforms in real time as friends, family and acquaintances confronted and/or unfollowed me minutes after I posted this statement to my Instagram and Facebook pages: a large number (certainly not all) of white, Christian women cast a vote for the very thing that they sit in church every Sunday and denounce - hatred, evil, violence - in exchange for the security of the America that they tell themselves is great. In upper middle class America, they hang their flags from the wraparound porches of their Victorian-style suburban homes and teach their children to kneel at their bedsides and pray for peace before drifting off to sleep, all the while knowing that they continually choose to uphold a system that protects their families while oppressing others, AND THEY CLEARLY HATE BEING REMINDED OF IT. BUT I AM NOT SORRY.

Needless to say, the past four years have been chaotic - a level of restlessness that I haven’t seen in my lifetime. Every day has brought a barrage of government-sanctioned lies and violence, heightened civil unrest, hatred spread from the Peoples’ House, attacks on our media, blatant disregard for science (first with regard to the ever-growing climate crisis and this year, in the face of the greatest public health crisis of our lifetime). Racial and social injustices are worsening with every passing day and violence against our Black and Brown communities, BIPOC, women and members of the LGBTQIA+ community run rampant. The vitriolic hate speech and alt-right agenda of the Trump Administration has brought on the 21st century’s own Civil Rights Movement. The ways we absorb information have changed and we’ve seen extremist right-wing militias and conspiracy theorists like QAnon use social media platforms to radicalize conservative America and turn the GOP into Trumpism. Just look at the 50 Republican US Senators, many of whom openly admitted that the Trump Administration is corrupt, who still chose to vote to support his presidency and forego the opportunity to dismiss him for a laundry list of impeachable offenses. If that doesn’t make it clear, you need to open your eyes and start paying attention.

This is the worst part. They used Christianity to do it. As someone raised in the church, I wonder every day why so many Christians now feel that it is their duty to support Trump. It pains me to see this happen. At what point did a despicable, blatantly racist man with five children from three different women, credibly accused 26 times of sexual assault become a beacon of moral authority in this country? At what point did 70 million Americans decide that moral men proudly say things like, “Grab ‘em by the pussy,” refer to neo-nazis as “fine people” and proudly claim political endorsements from David Duke and the Taliban?

I’m certainly not condemning Christianity by any means, but I feel like I have to say this. The white, Christian women (overwhelmingly more than anyone else) that confronted me for having the audacity to suggest that those who preach love, kindness and unity in public while choosing to uphold hate, evil and violence with their vote are hypocritical.

YOU CAN’T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS. I AM NOT SORRY.